I second what John-Ed says above, grooves aren't nearly as harmful as going over. There are two reasons not to exceed the max diameter. The first, of course, is cooling/heat dissipation. The second is that the arc of the shoe and lining has to match the arc of the drum, so as to have maximum area of contact. You should "fit" the shoe by hand to the drum, prior to installing the shoes to visually check that the full surface of the shoe contacts the drum. What you do not want is a rocking, or teeter-totter effect.
Before the dangers of asbestos became well known, most shops or parts houses could "re-arc" shoes and fit them to the drums. These days, your best bet to find someone who still re-arcs shoes locally to you would be a restoration shop that specializes in 1950's or earlier cars, or a farm implement repair shop. I am pretty sure that White Post does it, but you'd have to send off shoes & drums to them, so $hipping would be right $$$pendy.....